breaking the knot

IS IT OVER? Can this marriage be saved?

2004-11-16T16:02:00.000-05:00

A few questions to ask yourself from the Divorce Central Website

Point of No Return
How do you know when you've finally reached the point of no return, when putting your relationship together again is simply too much of a stretch? In the end, of course, the answer is personal. But if your answers to the following questions are irrefutably yes, it may be time to let go:
Does every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolve into a fight?
Do you or your spouse continually refer to hurtful events in the past?
Is all the respect gone from your relationship? Do you feel it is impossible to build that respect back?
Have your goals and directions changed while your partner's have stayed the same? (Or vice versa.)
Is your partner no longer fostering your individual growth?
Have you and/or your partner both changed so much that you no longer share moral, ethical, or lifestyle values?
Have you and your spouse lost the art of compromise? When you disagree, are you unable to forge a path together that is acceptable to both?
Do you and your spouse have a basic sexual incompatibility? Do you feel completely unattracted to each other? Despite help from professional therapists, have you stopped making love?

Divorce Blogs

2004-11-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

Thought I would use this space today to provide links to some other divorce themed blogs.

http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/2004/09/divorce_industr.html

http://www.angelahoy.com/book/

http://www.rosen.com/blog/

Check out some of these blogs.....enjoy.

www.divorceassociates.com

CBS Is Planning a New Sitcom About Divorce

2004-10-28T08:57:00.000-05:00

Television Article | Reuters.com

New Divorce Dating Website

2004-10-26T15:26:00.000-05:00

An incredible website has just launched that is an incredible resource for those who are trying to get back in the game after a divorce. It is a place where divorcees can meet others who have shared their experiences and look for new love. Check out Divorce Dating it is free to register for now so do it soon.....

http://www.divorceassociates.com

PRESS RELEASE: Halloween Brings Tricks and Treats for Newly Divorced Families

2004-10-25T10:18:00.000-05:00

PRESS RELEASE: Halloween Brings Tricks and Treats for Newly Divorced Families

Divorce raises issues for families during the holiday season get advice here.

www.divorceassociates.com

What You Need to Know About Using Divorce Forms Services

2004-10-22T15:24:00.000-05:00

There are many services out there today that offer to give you divorce forms and save you money on lawyer's fees. They are not all created equal however. Many of these services give you the forms for a price and then you still have to complete them. For some people this option is just fine, for others, they will find the process to be painstakingly difficult.

The next level up from that are services that will prepare the forms for you. Keep in mind that their fees do not include the filing fees and court costs in your county. In addition, to paying the person who prepared your documents you will have to pay the court fees associated with filing a divorce.

The thing to keep in mind about most of these services is that once they send you the documents you are on your own.

Some services will also send instructions. Along with your fully prepared divorce form package, you will receive complete instructions on how to file the papers (usually a two step process)
This can be an incredible added value when you consider the difficulty most people usually have navigating the court system.

Whatever service you ultimately choose to use, be sure they offer the most for your money.

www.divorceassociates.com

Quiz: Which celebrity ex are you?

2004-10-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Quiz: Which celebrity ex are you?

A little fun for today.....take this quiz to see which celebrity ex you are.....

The Importance of Building a Support Team

2004-10-20T09:52:00.000-05:00

In our society divorce can often make you feel ashamed. We celebrate the wedding of a couple, we have a party to mark a big birthday or graduation, heck we even gather with food and drink when someone dies. But get divorced and the world can seem like a very lonely place.....

This brings me to the importance of making a support group. Sit down and think about what is currently going on in your life, what you need now, and what you will need. Then make a list of friends, associates, and professionals and how each can contribute to assiting you. Then ask. Reach out to your network and ask for the help you need.

For example, in going through the first stages of divorce you might realize you need
1) childcare to assist you in getting a few minutes alone, or going to an important court date, or even because you need to go back to work

2) legal professionals

3) a friend who you can call at any hour to laugh, cry, or vent

4) a counselor to assist you in helping your children to cope.

These are just a few examples of what you may or may not need. Once you have your list its time to reach out. Tell people how much their help would mean to you. Ask them to be on your team.

It's easier to get your life back on track if you create an action plan and a team to help you execute it.

www.divorceassociates.com

Divorce: 10 Reasons To Try Divorce Mediation

2004-10-19T14:04:00.000-05:00

Divorce: 10 Reasons To Try Divorce Mediation

Check this out.....TEN REASONS TO TRY DIVORCE MEDIATION

www.divorceassociates.com

Decade of divorce set stage for message of teen horror films

2004-10-19T13:27:00.000-05:00

Decade of divorce set stage for message of teen horror films

Were teen slasher movies popular because of a society of family dysfunction and divorce? This article examines that possibility.

The article theorizes that it wasn't just blood and gore that made the "slasher" movie and along with it the likes of freddy, jason, and michael so popular. It was that these movies came with a message.

Freddy promotes family values? You be the judge....

www.divorceassociates.com

help for small blogs

2004-10-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Helping The Small BlogsThere are by some estimates more than a million weblogs. But most of them get no visibility in search engines. Only a few "A-List" blogs get into the top search engine results for a given topic, while the majority of blogs just don't get noticed. The reason is that the smaller blogs don't have enough links pointing to them. But this posting could solve that. Let's help the smaller blogs get more visibility!This posting is GoMeme 4.0. It is part of an experiment to see if we can create a blog posting that helps 1000's of blogs get higher rankings in Google. So far we have tried 3 earlier variations. Our first test, GoMeme 1.0, spread to nearly 740 blogs in 2.5 days. This new version 4.0 is shorter, simpler, and fits more easily into your blog.Why are we doing this? We want to help thousands of blogs get more visibility in Google and other search engines. How does it work? Just follow the instructions below to re-post this meme in your blog and add your URL to the end of the Path List below. As the meme spreads onwards from your blog, so will your URL. Later, when your blog is indexed by search engines, they will see the links pointing to your blog from all the downstream blogs that got this via you, which will cause them to rank your blog higher in search results. Everyone in the Path List below benefits in a similar way as this meme spreads. Try it!Instructions: Just copy this entire post and paste it into your blog. Then add your URL to the end of the path list below, and pass it on! (Make sure you add your URLs as live links or HTML code to the Path List below.)

Path List1. Minding the Planet2. Luke Hutteman's public virtual MemoryStream3. Mohammad.Abdulfatah, Chronicles Of4. Anand M, DotNet From India5. Teucer's Quiver6. Bharath Ganesh, Making Technologies Interoperate7. Richard Callaby's Blog8. Peter's Blog9. A Programmer In Training10. Thinking Digitally11. VOXEFX12. Breaking the Knot 13. YOURS HERE

Adult Children of Divorce.

2004-10-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

Adult Children of Divorce.

If you have not yet seen this you must follow the link above and check it out. It will blow your mind!!! If you think that your divorce is your problem and has no effect on your kids think again.

The study will upset you and motivate you to forget your own problems and worry about the legacy you are creating for your kids. More information about kids and divorce

This is not to say that you should not get divorced, it is suggesting however, that couples should spend some time and research better, less adversarial, ways to get divorced. Even if they no longer want to be partners in marriage, the couple with children are forever partners in life. As partners, they can work togather to divorce with civility and respect for their family unit.

New York Post Online Edition: news

2004-10-15T10:19:00.000-05:00

New York Post Online Edition: news

The Post has a great article today about the horrors of New York's divorce process:

"I spent five long years in litigation, and it was an emotional hell," Duff told The Post after the hearing.

"The system is archaic and confusing," said Duff. "Litigants are traumatized and ground down. Custody cases are a nightmare, and the system is a mess straight out of Alice in Wonderland. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what my daughter and I went through."

Check out the full new york post article

There is a op ed piece following the article in the print edition that suggests to avoid the horrors couples should not divorce. Well, that's great advice I suppose, just a bit oversimplified though. Instead, my suggestion would be if you must divorce then do some research on alternative means besides protracted litigation. There are many services today offering less adversarial ways o divorce. There are even lawyers who are sympathetic to the process and will agree to handle the case with as little "shark" lawyering as possible.

If any of you want to email us or give us a call we will be happy to help you research these options. In addition, we have a network of lawyers, therapists, and other professionals who have all agreed to work with couples seeking to divorce without torturous litigation. Feel free to ask us for a referral to any of these professionals.

www.divorceassociates.com

Gay Marriage Debate Sparks New Services to Deal with Same Sex Divorce

2004-10-12T10:29:00.000-05:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Gay Marriage Debate Sparks New Services to Deal with Same Sex Divorce
New York, New York (PR WEB) October 12, 2004 Divorce mediation now being used to help fill in the legal gaps and pick up the pieces of same sex relationships.

Over the last year the debate about same sex marriage has sparked an onslaught of protests, support, and talking head debates, but despite all the excitement in most cases and in most places, little has changed regarding same sex couples’ ability to have their unions recognized under the law. What has come out of the flurry of news on the subject though is the realization that same sex couples seek to create families and will have problems if and when those families should dissolve, just like heterosexual couples. In fact, since the law does not recognize the marriage in most states, same sex couples will often have a much more emotionally charged separation process as the issues of division of assets, taking care of any children in the relationship, and otherwise dividing the couples lives all have uncertain results.
The legal services industry is beginning to respond to this new customer need and the divorce mediation industry is leading the pack. Mediation is a growing area of the legal services industry that allows couples to work out the terms of their own separation agreement. It saves time and money in comparison to traditional litigation and most desirable avoid the high emotional costs of traditional adversarial litigation. The concept is especially useful in same sex relationships. Because there is no governing body of law regarding division of assets in most areas, couples must rely on creating their own binding documents in contract. Mediation can facilitate the creation and negotiation of those documents.

It’s not just about breaking up. Mediation can also help same sex couples to create the legal family bonds that the law may not create for them. A document much like a traditional pre-nuptial agreement, a memorandum of understanding as it is often called in mediation, can be created when a couple decides to solidify their commitment to each other. The agreement can specify what will happen to assets and the like in the event of a separation. It can also spell out obligations financial, legal, and otherwise each party has in the relationship. The process of creating the agreement and ultimately signing it can give a couple a feeling of validity to their relationship, a sense of commitment and obligation to each other that the law may fail to give them for now.
For additional information contact divorce associates (212)330-9054
Divorce Associates was founded in response to the growing dissatisfaction with the traditional adversarial divorce process and the pain that is often left in its wake. Divorce Associates provides alternatives to litigation that respect the dignity of the family. Divorce Associates provides mediation, pre-nuptial, and divorce form preparation services.
http://www.divorceassociates.com/

PRESS RELEASE: 5 Ways To Numb The Financial Pain Of Divorce

2004-10-11T15:04:00.000-05:00

PRESS RELEASE: 5 Ways To Numb The Financial Pain Of Divorce

Some helpful hints about finances and divorce provided in this article by freedom financial network.
www.divorceassociates.com

SILive.com - Staten Island Advance - After 2 centuries, divorce still evolving here

2004-10-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

SILive.com - Staten Island Advance - After 2 centuries, divorce still evolving here

A really interesting article worth checking out if you are interested in the divorce process in new york.Illustrates the difficulties and pitfalls middle class couples go through in navigating the system. Also touches briefly on mediation. The article provide some insights into new york's notably difficult system.

www.divorceassociates.com

Anniston, Pitt set for divorce?

2004-10-11T13:39:00.000-05:00

Anniston, Pitt set for divorce?

Hey, if the two most gorgeous people in the world can't make it work that what chance do any of us have? :)

All kidding aside, the pressures of everyday life are enough to make relationships hard for us mere mortals.....imagine if you had the news media publisizing every fight, analyzing your body language, and snooping into who you are spending too much time with....for once we can all be happy we are not them.

Oops! Britney Spears faked her wedding: What Britney's marriage news can mean to you.....

2004-10-07T17:21:00.000-05:00

Oops! Britney Spears faked her wedding

With news swirling about Britney's "faux" marriage to Kevin Federline one
asks, "what do I care?" Well, if you are considering getting married and signing a pre-nup
maybe you should.

There are often state specific rules on how far from the actual wedding date
a pre-nup must be signed to be enforceable it would seem that if the wedding was real
than the pre-nup might be in jeopardy. It is important when considering one of these agreements to do so well in advance of the wedding date. Check with a lawyer to find out if these rules could apply to you.

*as always, we at divorce associates are mediators not lawyers and this blog is never intended
to give legal advice.

www.divorceassociates.com

Suddenly Single on Dr. Phil

2004-10-07T15:53:00.000-05:00

This week Dr. Phil aired a show entitled "Suddenly Single" about women dealing with divorce trying to move on with their lives. The show illustrated how important it is to maintain your own identity in a relationship. The women featured were all unsure how to move on alone, many of them had never held a job or even created a resume. They had no idea how to take the first steps toward creating a life of their own.

Whether you are in a good relationship or dealing with a break-up the advice on the show made a lot of sense. I highly recommend checking out the website as well as the author Ms. Gibbs who was featured. Bottom line....brush yourself off and get moving again...

www.divorceassociates.com

Can you create a Pre-nup without breaking up?

2004-10-07T12:59:00.000-05:00

The issue of pre-nups is a sensitve one. A couple who is about to take that infamous walk down the aisle, who have so much to think about....seating arrangements, flowers, band.....must also sometimes face the reality of planning not only their wedding but their divorce.

Pre-nuptial agreements cover what will happen to assets in the event of death or divorce. A subject most couples who are about to get married do not like to consider. However, there are ways to create a pre-nup without unraveling the relationship. One option to consider is mediation. Mediation allows for a non-adversarial process, which can be especially important during this sensitive time. Mediation can seek out the underlying needs of both parties and help them to negotiate an agreement that works for them. So the couple can get back to focusing on their future together.

*This is not to be taken as legal advice. We are not lawyers. If you are in need of legal advice please consult a lawyer.

The professionals at www.divorceassociates.com

About this blog.....

2004-10-07T12:40:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the companion blog to the website for Divorce Associates. We are a full service divorce forms and mediation company. The plan for this blog is that it will discuss issues relevant to relationships, love, and divorce. We will try to post about new developments in family mediation. In addition, we will cover the lighter side of this subject by discussing celebrity breakups and divorces. We hope you will check us out and bookmark this blog. If you or someone you love is considering divorce we invite you to look into the options that Divorce Associates can provide. Thanks.

The professionals at Divorce Associates
www.divorceassociates.com